It's What You Wanted
by roseateglow
Summary: He brushed the tears away angrily and turned again, moving to the glass to face her. 'Don't make up excuses. I saw what the two of you were doing. You've wanted it all along. Don't lie. It's what you wanted.' Jate. MAJOR SPOILERS for 03x06!


A/N: This story contains MAJOR spoilers for Lost episode 3x06. This is me being very angsty because of the preview for the episode, although I probably do go a little AU at the end. Watching my 'ship sink on canon is never pleasant. Don't read this if you don't want to be spoiled. I also shamelessly stole lines from the new "I Do" preview on ABC's website and fit them into my story, and put descriptions to it. And, for the record, while I don't think I'll ever get used to calling Faux Henry Gale, Ben, I can't really call him Benry in my story, now can I? And yes, my other stories should be updated sometime during the upcoming week.

* * *

For the third time during his captivity, they brought the television into his room. Like the first time, it was Ben who wheeled the little cart in. However, rather than put it in front of the glass, he actually brought it onto Jack's side of the glass room, wheeling it next to the table. 

"I've got something to show you," the thin man said cheerfully, leaning against the cart as he pushed the tape into the VCR. Jack sighed. Another trick, like Juliet's?

"I don't want to see--"

"Oh, you will, Jack. Trust me, this is something you won't want to miss."

He hit the power button, and the television flickered on, dancing black and white snow on the screen. Jack raised an eyebrow at Ben, who fumbled with the small VCR. The snow disappeared to a black screen, and Ben stepped back so Jack could see the screen.

He saw a still of two cages, and his eyes were drawn immediatly to the figure on the right. Kate, lying asleep in her prison. He wondered what that was like for her, to be imprisoned, in jail. He glanced at the other figure, also asleep, but he didn't need to. He knew it was Sawyer.

He watched a small group file in. He reconized Tom, the man from the dock, and Pickett. Leading the way was Juliet. One of the Others, a bald man whose name Jack didn't know, came forward to unlock both cages. He watched Kate and Sawyer rouse slowly and wake up. Ben leaned down to push another button, and he watched the scene in front of him speed up. There was no movement, except the lone figure who seemed to be patrolling the area. When the group reappeared, he saw Pickett shove them both roughly into the cage that had been Kate's.

"They tried to escape." Ben said bluntly. "We thought we were punishing them, putting them in the cage that wouldn't give them food. Watch them,"

He watched. They were talking, it seemed. Jack eyed the volume button, wondering if there was any sound at all.

"For some reason, that particular feed doesn't transfer its sound when we put it on tape. We have to rely on the viewer's memory. And fortunately for us, I have an excellent memory."

"What are they saying?" Jack urged, trying not to sound too desperate. Ben paused for a moment, before answering.

"She was worried about you."

He watched Sawyer put out a hand, and Kate's shoulders sag and she moved, sobbing into his arms. Jack felt his muscles tighten. He wanted nothing more than to punch Sawyer. He knew that he didn't own Kate, and for all either of them knew, he was dead. Still, that didn't give the other man any excuse to hold her. What rights did Sawyer have to touch her?

And suddenly, Sawyer's hands were all over her. Jack felt like he was watching a television show, instead of seeing two people he knew. He wanted to scream at the screen, _Don't touch her, get away from her!_ but he reminded himself that Ben was not only watching the tape, but monitoring Jack's reaction as well. Then, too Jack's surprise and shock, Sawyer kissed her. Jack barely caught a glimpse of Kate's stunned face, before she was kissing him back, and they were suddenly in a mass of limbs and clothing, the latter soon abandoned.

Ben's concentration now seemed more focused on Jack than on what was now going on in front of them. Jack blinked, once, twice. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Kate...and Sawyer. Together. Having sex. His mind reeled, and he felt sick. He couldn't understand what she was doing. Why Sawyer? The question repeated itself in his head. The look they had shared back on the dock...his confession to her by the campfire...their flirting while caught in that net...all of their--what had Charlie called it? verbal copulation...and that kiss. Every look they shared, every time his heart sped up when she smiled back at him because she felt the same way.

Or he'd thought she felt the same way.

He swallowed, feeling his breath caught in his throat. "Do they know that you--"

"Not a clue," Ben answered, his eyes once again glued to the monitor. Jack stared, unable to help himself. Unlike Ben, who was clearly enjoying himself, Jack knew that his own reasoning was not for any sexual gratification.

Jack wanted to know. Watching Kate's face to see what she was thinking. He always assumed he could read her so well, tell what she was thinking. The image was a greyish-brown hue, and he couldn't see her eyes. Not the beautiful green eyes that he could get lost in. He found himself teeming with jealousy as he watched Sawyer run his hands through her hair.

"Turn it off,"

"We're just getting to the best part, Jack."

"TURN IT OFF!"

With a curt nod, Ben switched off the VCR, turned off the TV, and wheeled the cart out of the room. Jack slumped against the table, turning away from the door and burying his head in his hands, feeling, once more, utterly alone.

* * *

Juliet brought her in an hour later. He heard the door to the outer room open, and turned to peer over the table and through the glass. Instead of one figure in the doorway, he spotted two, and there was definately something familiar about the hooded one. He turned and slowly rose, somewhat cautious. Juliet's usual smile was gone, replaced by a feeling he couldn't seem to read. She pushed the hooded figure into the room. Jack recognized who it was even before Juliet pulled the sack over her face. 

She looked around, as if dazed, trying to get used to where she was. She was a little dirty and her hair was a mess from the bag. _Or Sawyer_...his brain reminded him. For a moment, he forgot about that. He was happy just to see her again and he honestly couldn't help but stare. He didn't know what to do, or say, especially with Juliet standing there making things awkward. He caught Kate's eye and smiled, a genuine smile.

The look she gave him was one of confusion, then disbelief, astonishment, and finally, the tiniest of smiles. He moved slowly toward the glass that acted as a barrier between them, wanting nothing more than to just touch her, even if for a moment. He was so blinded by her presence that he felt ready to forgive her for anything she'd done with Sawyer. He wanted to apologize to her for getting her involved in all of this, for getting her caught up in Michael's betrayal. She hadn't done anything to deserve this.

She mirrored his movements and they met inches on either side from the glass. He put a hand out awkwardly, unsure, then the other, to lean against the glass. She was so close.

"I'll give you two some privacy," Juliet announced, remaining completely ignored by the two of them as she left the room, shutting the door behind her.

"You okay?" He asked, feeling like an idiot for grinning so much. She smiled at him, her eyes filled with a tumult of emotions that matched the internal dispute going on between his head and his heart.

"Yeah," she nodded. "You?"

He didn't know how to respond. In his mind, he thought about all he'd been through in the past few days, but that didn't seem to matter anymore. All that mattered was that she was here, standing here in front of him, and he felt _fantastic_.

"Yeah, I'm great." He figured that now was as good a time as any. The camera in the room could catch their words, but he wanted to convey his feelings to her with his eyes, his smile. _I love you,_ was what he wanted to tell her. He didn't want to keep anything from her anymore. She smiled back at him and gave an almost shy glance downward. His heart rate quickened. Had she understood? Had she gotten his message?

"They're making us work," she said out of the blue. He tried to hide his disappointment. "Work?"

"We're hauling rocks and--"

"Hey," he interrupted, not liking where her conversation was heading. "They" meant her and Sawyer, and that was one thing he didn't want to talk about. "Did they hurt you?"

He watched her break down in front of him, and wished, for the thousanth time, that there was no pane of glass separating them. The last time he could remember seeing her cry like this was the day they'd kissed. She sobbed, breaking eye contact and leaning her head against the glass.

"Hey, it's gonna--it's gonna be alright. It's going to--" he was trying in vain to reassure her and himself too. He hated seeing her like this, hated being part of the reason she was like this. She pressed her hand tigher against the glass wall, as if her force was going to crack the wall between them.

"Jack..." she breathed between sobs, and he felt his heart shatter in a million pieces from the sincerity of her voice. "You have to do it. This thing that they told you to do, this operation."

His eyes flickered up to the camera. Was this a trap? He hated them for bringing her into this. He should have seen it coming, but he'd been so scared that he would never see her again.

"She said that if you do it, then they would--"

"What did they do to you?" He asked, defensive and angry now. "What did they do to you?"

"Nothing!" She was silently pleading with him to accept what she was saying. A part of him hated that he had to doubt her. The other part of him hated that she was in on their scheme, and he felt his anger building up.

"How did they get you to ask me?" He demanded, his voice rising.

"Jack," she pleaded again. "Please!"

"What did they offer you?!"

"Nothing!" She faltered and the tears began again. He slowly realized that it wasn't about him.

"Then what are you doing here?"

"They're gonna kill Sawyer."

And that was it. He knew then. He gave her a look of resentment, disappointment. He knew what those words meant. Suddenly realized why Ben had showed him that tape. She didn't love him. He'd been stupid to think that she ever would love him. He should have listened to the marshal those long weeks ago. He felt trapped. Ben desperately wanted that operation. He had shown Jack that surveillance video, knowing that Jack would begin to doubt his trust in Kate. Juliet had brought Kate, believing her to be his weakness. But she'd known, Juliet had. Known all about the tape, and that Ben would show it to Jack, and that if she brought Kate in, to pretend to convince him to do the operation. Juliet would know that the tape had placed seeds of doubt in Kate's loyalty to him. And he wouldn't do the operation. Just like Juliet wanted.

His eyes flickered up to the camera, ignoring Kate's sobbed apology. "She said that if you do it, and you do it soon, they'll let us go!"

_Us? _He wanted to say to her. _You and me? Or you and Sawyer? _Or none of them. He didn't understand how she could be so naive. "You believed them?"

"I have to," she said, with a choked sob. "Jack, please." He bowed his head, touching his forehead to the glass, in complete disbelief. So she trusted them now.

"We're done here," he said, failing to keep the disappointment out of his voice. Hot tears burned his eyes, and he turned away from her so she wouldn't see his weakness, looking instead at the camera, where he knew they were watching.

"Hey!" He made his way across the room and over to the speaker on the wall. "We're done in here!"

"Jack, please!"

He brushed the tears away angrily and turned again, moving to the glass to face her. "Don't make up excuses. I _saw_ what the two of you were doing. You've wanted it all along. Don't lie. It's what you wanted."

"I love you," she said softly, dry sobs escaping her lips. She pulled her hand away from the glass and took a step back, not waiting for his response. "It wasn't--it was never about him. He told me to run. I got out of my cage, and he told me to run, but he refused to come with me. He told me 'Every man for himself.' I wasn't going to just abandon him. 'Live together, die alone.' Do you remember who said that?"

He ignored what he saw as her feable attempts to win him back. He had avoided mentioning it, but now, it was ineviable. "I saw you today. You screwed him, Kate. I saw--"

The door opened, and Juliet was back, lingering for a moment against the door. Suddenly, he didn't want Kate to go. She gave him an alarmed look and pressed her face close to the glass. He moved to stand in front of her, his face apologetic.

"Nothing happened," she whispered. "_Nothing_ happened. I don't feel anything for him. Don't you understand, Jack? Don't you see?"

A trick? He couldn't understand these people. He'd seen the tape, seen the two figures, Kate and Sawyer. He'd watched them.

"Jack!" Juliet was now pulling out the bag to place over Kate's head. She was pleading with him silently, _listen to me, listen to me, listen to me_.

"Wait!" Juliet glanced up at him, frowning slightly, and it almost pleased him to see a hint of jealousy on her face.

"What you told me. Please, if you just--bring her in here. Just for a minute, that's all I want. One minute. Sixty seconds. Just--please."

She stared back at him mechanically, and didn't respond. The bag went over Kate's head, and Juliet pulled her roughly from the room. Jack let himself slid against the glass wall in defeat. It hit him hard that Kate had just confessed that she loved him. That apparently, Ben's tape had been a hoax. These people could easily blend in, they'd seen that before. They were capable of disguise, and certainly there were the wigs. Maybe it had been staged. Maybe...

He heard the door to his room unlatch, and was on his feet in less than a second. Juliet appeared, pushing Kate inside.

"You have _one_ minute," Juliet said coldly, yanking the bag off Kate's head one more. "Starting when I close this door. I'll be timing you, I suggest you use your time wisely."

The door shut behind her with a loud _CLANK_. Jack wasted no time. He crossed to the place where Kate stood in two large strides and took her in his arms. This dark, underground bunker was the last place he expected to kiss her again, but he wasn't complaining. She lifted her face up to meet his and their lips met. He wrapped his arms around her to steady her as she gave an almost dramatic swoon. He wished he had more time so he could tease her about it later. She pulled away first, the two of them gasping for air and each other.

"I swear we didn't, I swear, Jack, I would never, not to you." She sputtered, tears springing to her eyes again. He reached out a hand to take one of hers and give it a reassuring squeeze.

"I believe you," he said simply. "It's alright, I'll be okay."

"I love you," he told her firmly, thankful that he'd finally gotten a chance to say it. "I love you, Kate. With all my heart."

True to her word, Juliet was back in exactly a minute, although it seemed longer to the two of them. Their eyes met and he watched helplessly as Juliet put the bag over their head and led her out of the room. He was alone again, but not quite _alone_.

A long silence passed before Juliet reappeared, lingering alone by the door. She gave him a cold stare.

"That didn't go as well as I had hoped. We knew she had power over you, but we had no idea it was equally shared like that. You two have a strong connection."

"Don't let them hurt her. I swear, if you hurt her--if they hurt her."

"Relax, no one's going to hurt her. She's too important to us. Think of her as a bargaining tool. You're important, too, Jack. We made a deal. And right now, you need to fufill your part of the bargain. You do what I say, and we'll let you go. Or you could stay here, make a home with us as our doctor. I'm sure Kate wouldn't mind playing the happy housewife with you."

"Why would I trust you? Why would I abandon the others? You want me, you're going to have to accomodate 40 other people. I won't leave them."

Juliet sighed. "We don't want them, Jack. We need people like you and Kate."

She stepped aside to let two tall men in, who urged him forward.

"What about Sawyer?"

Juliet was silent for a moment. "We didn't need him anymore. So she's going to be in for a surprise when she gets back to the cages."

"You said--you said you wouldn't kill them. Ben _promised_ not to hurt them!"

"We say a lot of things. Time to scrub up, Jack. You have an operation to perform."

* * *

A/N: Gah, I should write for ABC. I hope this is similiar to how the episode will end. Ah well, we'll see, won't we :) Remember, Jaters, always keep the faith! Reviews are welcomed and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! 


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